rhondalee's Blog

I don't know if anyone on here can help me or not, but figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. I lost my youngest daughter who was a month shy of 18 on July 5 of this year. The scene appears to be a suicide. My daughter was in a relationship with a guy that we just found out was very controlling and possibly being abusive to her....My daughter was a very outgoing, smart, loving person, she had more friends than you could imagine, everyone loved her. She graduated in the top of her class with honors, she was all set to go to University of Maine and very excited about it. She was not a depressed girl in the least. Her relationship with family was excellent. She was the type of person that would do anything NOT to hurt anyone else.
When I left our house the morning of the 5th, she was acting fine. I was gone for 3 hours. When I got home I found her in the bathroom hanging from the door. I can't imagine her doing this knowing I would be the one to find her, there was no note.....we discovered that she had eaten and drank a soda and played on the computer....does this sound like someone planning on taking her own life??? The police are sure that she did....I am not. I can't even begin to mourn without knowing the absolute truth. I feel like if I accept that she did, and she really didn't, I don't know....it's like she would think, "how can Mom thing I would do this".
If anyone can help me or has any suggestions for me please let me know. Even if the truth is not what I wish...atleast I can start the mouring cycle....right now I just physically hurt all over with her loss. Thanks for any help I can get.